Thursday, May 4, 2017

Grief Meeting Lesson 9

After the recent death of my husband, my daughter Judie signed me up for a Grief Class at the Nazarene Church every Sunday Afternoon at 3:00pm.  Judie suggested that I take notes and Post as perhaps you are grieving and this may help you.  As you can see I entered late, but this is still helpful.

This post is from notes at our Grief Meeting 
Tears to Joy and Getting Stuck in Grief - - Lesson 9 

If you are having trouble getting rid of a negative image of your loved one’s death, think about the beautiful memories.

If you are angry at your loved one what ever the reason - - write a letter to the person and get it out of your system - - of course don’t mail it.

We act out our grief in different ways.  Some feel like running away and want to drive and drive and drive.

Tear Soup is not wrong, but when you decide to change your tears into joy, find something to make you smile and laugh.

If your grief continues for 3 to 5 years, be careful because you are stuck in grief. 
Signs of being stuck in grief: 
1. Shrines around the house,
2. Won’t touch the room they occupied or remove their clothes and personal items. 
3. Having symptoms same as your loved one had.
4.  Uncontrolled weeping and crying. 

1.     Time heals – of course you loved them and miss them.

2.     Keep busy and take care of your self

3.     Healing is not forgetting and is not callous.

4.     Understand although God took your loved one according to His plan, life will be different so welcome change.

5.     Progress is steady - -  Walk by truth and not feelings.  God has not abandoned you.

6.     God is with you in your situation.

Some fall into bitterness - - stop and know that God loves you and is with you even more than before.

The enemy plants lies in your thinking;  Realize Jesus brings truth.

We know this is a reality of absence, but realize our faith is true even if we don’t “Feel” God’s presence, Trust that He is there.

Getting “Unstuck” is going “though” and not trying to go around, under or over.

1.     Do your Grief Work:

2.     Don’t obey your “feelings” Luke 22:42 emotions are up and down, but reach out to God.  Don’t pretend what is not true, make a choice to joy.

3.     Worship God honestly.  Say: “God I trust you more than my feelings and more than my anger.  You may not feel like praising God.  Find little things to Praise him for. 
Take a walk and praise God for things you see.  Psalms 63:3,4. Job 1:20,21  Don’t withdraw from worship services at your church.  Also on purpose worship God in your home.

4.     Be grateful: I Thessalonians 5:18 Thank God for everything.  Be happy for your loved one is no longer in pain and suffering.

5.     Accidental death, murder, suicide are the most difficult to practice gratitude, but make a list of things and people around you that you are thankful for.

6.     Put God on display I Thessalonians 4:13. May others see you “holding up.”

Don’t isolate yourself, but reach out to help others.  Solitude is feeling sorry for yourself.

You may experience flashbacks and you wonder, “Where did that come from?” 

It is not necessarily better but life is different.  Choose to do the right thing.


Ifeoma Samuel said...

How are you Aunt Hazel?
I'm happy to read this. Prayin that God continues to hold you as you walk through this road

Cheryl said...

Dear Hazel, I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. I am praying for you. I tell you what, I wish I had been able to go to grief counseling when my dear Dad died in 2000 (while I was pregnant, none the less), and when my precious Mom died in 2012. I had the most awful time getting through both times...this advice would have been so helpful to me then. GOD got me through it, though, obviously, and I suppose I learned every, single thing on this list through HIM, and Him alone. I am glad your daughter suggested this to you, and I do hope you are doing okay. It is good to know you have a great support system...I know you must miss him so much. Sending love to you, sister.

Saleslady371 said...

I agree with Judie, that this will help people as well as your family right now. I'm going to share it so others may be encouraged!