Saturday, March 24, 2012

Family Secrets Are Not All Beautiful

image courtesy

After that phone call from the Care Home yesterday afternoon, I decided I must make another attempt to encourage my sister to visit our mother. She received me with open arms, and was happy to be able to go with me for perhaps a final visit to our mother. 

I am glad we went, for a couple of days later Mother passed to the other side, at 10:30 PM, March 24, 2012

My younger sister is not homeless, but she does have an emotional problem, and she will not take the medicine prescribed for her. At times she has such weird thoughts, and believes others are spying on her or are out to harm her.

My brother took her into his home many years ago as earlier did my parents, but she created such havoc that they could not allow her to stay. She lived in her car for awhile, and then in a camping trailer in the woods, and other places where ever she could.

Finally our widowed Mother purchased a single wide used mobile home for her, and her Social Security pays for the rent in the trailer park leaving her with enough money for her drink and food.

As a child she was the most beautiful girl outwardly, but after she broke both wrists at once, she seemed to change. Mother waited on her daily and she enjoyed the attention.

Image courtesy
There are days when I visit her, that I never know which girl she will be. At times she welcomes me, and we talk fairly normal and enjoy a visit time together.

On a recent visit I took her some groceries, which she shoved  back at me and told me to leave, and take my goods with me, along with a few other choice words.

I chose not to invite her to our mother's 100th Birthday celebration, because I knew how she would cause a ruckus when she saw her two grown children there. She always yelled at them and accused them of not caring about her. Naturally her children did not want to be around such a livid display, and were terribly embarrassed. It was easier for them to just stay away and they did.

My husband also stays away from her as best he can and advises me not to “punish” myself, - - but after all she is my sister !!

Even when you have those in your family who may at times seem strange or difficult to get along with - - they are still your family.

Let’s face it – we probably seem odd at times to others and it is a wonder that our family and friends put up with us.

I am so very glad that we are not the final judge of who makes it to heaven.

God certainly understands our eccentricities. Perhaps that is why He made us all so different.

This post was Linked with
 Faith Filled Friday with Laura
And with Deidra’s Sunday Jump Tandem


  1. Dear Hazel, thank you for reaching out your sister in her unpredictability. Your longsuffering kindness and love make you so dear to our Heavenly Father.

  2. Praying for your peace. Thank you for sharing this. I know how much the Lord must look on you and your family with love and mercy.

  3. You are not alone, Hazel! Unfortunately, this is something that many families face. But Jesus called us to love as He does! I love Jesus' words in Luke, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them." (Luke 6:32). Blessings to you as you continue to love, even though at times it is more than difficult!

  4. Paranoid schizophrenia runs in my family, my grandma was cared for while my mom was young. My sister has some of those issues and is single, alone, with grown children. I love her dearly and truthfully, as you stated, we're all short on something.
    My sister had a crazy idea for a book; a manuscript I'm working on now. I could never have thought of it and it is genius.
    The issue with not only these type of people, but all of us, is the issue of self.
    I'm praying for you and your family in your difficult times.

  5. Thank you for letting us experience this with you - to share in this part of your life. It's an honor to be invited in like this. Our love crosses all kinds of boundaries, doesn't it?

    Praying for you and for your sister. He loves you both beyond your wildest imagination!

  6. Good Morning, Hazel. First of all, I send a hug with my sympathy for the passing of your mother. Although knowing she is in Heaven brings a joy, you will still go through the grieving process. To have had your mother for so many years of your life is a blessing but there may be days when it's difficult to be without her. I will be praying for you.

    Thank you for sharing your "family secret" with us all. I cannot imagine how difficult a situation it is. I also know what it is to have family members reject you and never speak to you again. It leaves a deep, deep scar. I applaud you for going the extra mile with your sister. God bless you, Hazel!

  7. Bless you and yours. Losing your mother and dealing with other family issues is a huge challenge. You have a truly "reach-out" heart.


How to leave a comment - Select Name/Url and enter your Name in the name box.. (do not enter anything in the URL box) Be sure to click the box - I am not a robot.