It wasn’t because I felt threatened, because that wasn’t the case. My thought was; to be forewarned was to be forearmed.
I don’t remember how the conversation came around, but it probably had something to do with the news paper, about a wife being beaten by her husband.
At the time, we were engaged to be married, and this seemed like the appropriate opportunity to make my statement.
It was short and sweet. “I don’t expect you to ever hit me, but if you ever do, the first time will be the last time, because I will be gone before you can hit me again.”
We never spoke of this after that, and through the years, there may have been a time or two that he wished he could hit me; like the time he hit the wall instead, and made a hole that needed to be patched. - -
But physically hit me; NO he never did.
He has been a kind and loving husband - - most of the time.
Besides physical abuse, there are other ways to hurt your spouse, and that includes verbal abuse, and "The silent treatment."
One day, I was at my computer with my wallet open and my credit cards visible. I was printing a receipt for a charity gift I had just made on the internet.
Behind me, I was shocked to hear a voice, “What are you doing now?” my husband barked at me, as his blood pressure went up several decimals. I won’t include all the rest of his speech, but it lasted about 5 minutes, as to why I shouldn’t do this because of all the scams, and how we are on a budget and we need to pinch every penny.
Talking about the wind being knocked out of your sails - - that was me.
I explained to my husband that it was for a good cause, and I was depending on those persons involved who I trusted, that it was a legitimate charity.
I was reminded about the story of Abigail in the Bible, (1 Samuel 25,) who brought King David food, but she did not tell her husband right away. Her husband had refused to contribute provisions to King David, and she knew this was not right. In fact she was troubled for the safely of her household due to her husbands selfishness. So she decided to take matters into her own hands. She did what she knew had to be done!
The next day, after delivering her bounty to the King, she told her husband what she had done. What happened next was shocking to say the least.
Her husband was so angry, that his blood pressure hit sky high, and because of that he suffered a stroke, and fell over dead.
This Bible story illustrated to me, that there may be times, when it is better to hold off and wait on the sharing with your husband, your small gifts to charity, at least until a better day. Timing is crucial, if you value keeping him alive.